Write It Out

Is it horrible? Probably.

I honestly can't help it though. I actually try to avoid him now. There are a number of reasons to avoid someone and, in this case, they're all probably wrong.

In the course of our relationship, long distance for those who didn't know, we've spent dozens upon dozens of nights talking to each other. It started with our house phones (running up our parents' phone bill), moved to our cell phones (a whole lot of texting done there), and by the brilliance of skype finally ended at our computers. We've been through good times together, bad times together, even suffered through high school together. He knows me better than anyone. I love him insanely, passionately - entirely.

Now, being that we're apart from each other, our "extracurricular" activities differ from a normal couple. This is not something that bothered me. I've always been very talkative - no matter what the subject. Lately, though, that is not the case.

It seems that, as our relationship progressed, my voice has diminished. I can't say the things that are on my mind like I used to. This happens all the time, not just in "personal" matters, and I find myself not knowing what to do.

The obvious answer is to speak to him, but therein lies the problem. Whenever I try to bring myself to speak about things my throat closes up. I can't get the words out. I can't say what I want to say.

So, here I find myself. I'm avoiding him and his questions. I'm practically voiceless. I've got no idea what to do or how to handle my situation. I'm basically stuck.

Anyone out there happen to see where my voice ran off to?