Write It Out

You know how you can diagnose yourself when your sick. It's like muscle memory sometimes. Your body has had the current sickness so many times that you know what it is just by the beginning symptoms.

You know you've got the stomach flu when your body heaves uncontrollably. The cold comes on with a runny nose and sometimes a cough. Flu brings you fever, cough, runny nose, and the heaving from your stomach. Strep and Thrush are a pain in the throat, although the pain varies.

This thing I have now, however, I have no idea what it is. Or rather, what it has mutated into. It started out relatively simple - a sinus infection. Check around anywhere and you'll find that those usually go away in a few weeks without the need to see a doctor. Mine didn't go away after almost 8 week... So I knew I needed to see a doctor. I just didn't have a way to get there, so I kept putting it off.

When I hit 10 weeks with no relief in sight I finally made that doctors appointment. It's on Monday, but it seems like since I made the appointment this sickness has gotten worse. I have a swollen throat, pressure in my face, cough that just won't quit, and a pressure in my ear.

My throat is the worst. It's swollen and feels like I was swallowing razor blades. Trying to actually swallow is quite painful. Coughing is just a little bit worse. There are points when I just want to slit my throat with the hopes that it will make the pain stop.

Gargling sea salt water doesn't work. Decongestants aren't workings. Robitussin isn't suppressing my cough. Neither are the Halls cough drops - I've been popping them three at a time. And drinking tea and honey - forget it - it just makes me cough and hack even more.

Drinking water - no help.
Drinking juice - no help.
Taking medicine - no help.
Rest and sleep - temporary relief.

God! Someone help me!





-ranting complete-

So, I've been absolutely sick since January. I've been coughing, hacking up blood, having serious swelled sinuses, random nosebleeds, and through out all of this my mother has said I'm faking it. That's how it's always been. If I ever said I felt sick she said I was faking it. Funny thing is that once I get into the docotr's office she starts diagnosing me and is always right.

I remember one time when I said I didn't feel good. She, as usual, didn't believe me, but she let me go to work with her anyway. Around lunch time I started feeling worse. Again she didn't believe I was really sick. It wasn't until I vomited on her office floor that she belived me. She's always been like that though. Sometimes I think she joking and other times she seriously doesn't believe me.

I know this was one of the times she didn't believe. She's been saying I wasn't sick, but coughing up blood isn't fake. And now, after weeks and weeks of being sick, I'm starting to sound like a fucking squeaky bot! My voice has been going all pitchy and squeaky for the last two days. I really hate being sick.

Glad I'm seeing the doc next week. Then maybe I can kick whatever has been kicking my ass since the begining of the year.

We just got our taxes done. It was a community thing and I wasn't looking forward to it, but then I met the tax guy. I have to say that I've always had a thing for geeky boys. Pocket protectors, glasses, snort-laughs, and game loving are all pluses in my book. The guy who did out taxes, 23 year old Josh, had all of those qualities plus a slight stop-start stutter. It was cute. I actually enjoyed getting taxes done after all and, since he said he likes cupcakes, maybe I'll see him again at Cupcake Camp.